10 Things You Need to Know Before Getting a Cat
The first thing you need to know before getting cats is that you are not getting cats. The cats are getting you.
As you go further, just a head’s up: the first thing does not count. So, here are 10 things you need to know about cats that might help you if you are still deciding whether or not to get one. And oh, these are not all pretty serious facts, just pay close attention to each.
Meow? More like, me-WOW!
- CATS ARE GODS. They will want you to worship them. Unlike other pets, they will not yearn for your attention. Instead, you will yearn for theirs. What’s sadder is they will most likely pay attention to your friends more than they do to you.
As Terry Patcher once wrote, “In ancient times, cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.” Neither should you, as this will become the theme by which you live for the rest of your life.
- CATS ARE THERAPEAUTIC. Cats can make humans happy by purring. Studies show that the sound of cats’ purrs has a positive effect on mood.
Money cannot buy happiness, but they sure can spoil cats. When cats are spoiled, they are happy. When they are happy, they purr. When they purr, you will feel your mood lit up.
- CATS ARE NOCTURNAL. Getting cats means getting used to the never-ending process of waking up at three in the morning by a hrawk-hrawrrrk noise as your cats divest themselves of a fur ball onto your freshly cleaned carpets, going back to sleep, forgetting about it, and stepping in it first thing when you wake up in the morning.
- CATS HAVE MORE HAIR THAN COULD POSSIBLY BE IN ALL EXISTENCE. You can brush them 10 thousand times, only to find more hair all over your carpet, bed, and everything they touch. Sometimes, even on your black business attire.
- CATS DO NOT EAT JUST ANYTHING. Getting a cat means signing up for becoming a cat food expert who should know better about the pros and cons over cat food and treats, and who will be capable of spouting nutrition facts at the drop of a hat. Later, it will still not make sense, but you still try to become it, anyway.
- CATS ARE DISTRACTING. Somehow, if you have missed a deadline, all the other excuses would deem lamer than telling your boss you have a cat. He will understand you better with that reason because cats take offense at any object that takes more attention than it deserves. Your book, laptop, art, paperwork --- all will be stepped on in due course. They can even show up in ZOOM meetings just because they want to.
- CATS CLEAN UP AFTER THEMSELVES. Now, this is a good one. Cats have the courtesy to bury their waste. They probably practice CLAYGO, so you will not worry about carrying a bag of feces any day.
- CATS ARE SILENT CREATURES. Did you ever feel annoyed listening to a cat’s meow? Even when cats intend to annoy, their meows are still so adorable. Your neighbors can come to you and complain about your dogs’ barks, but they will never complain about cats’ cute, little sounds.
- CATS KEEP YOUR HOME INSECT-FREE. Cats lure away mice and rats. They have their natural predator instincts once they sense an “enemy’s” presence. They also hunt insects such as moths, houseflies, other creepy crawlies, and sometimes, even the dried fish on the table will not be left alone. Guess cats are not the friendliest of animals, but at least you will not have unnecessary visitors in your home.
- CATS ARE EMOTIONALLY DISTURBING. You can feed them, house them, spoil them, and you will still wonder if they love you. You will look for signs. You will try to make interpretations of their movements and hope those lead to their affection towards you. You will even research ways on how to keep them from being bored in the house; buy them baskets, boxes, beds; and craft blankets for them. You will Google “how to tell cats I love them” because you worry they don’t know.
You will fret over their every sneeze. You will worry about them a lot even when urban myths say they have nine lives. You cannot get complacent they will not leave you even when they have always found their way home. Your whole heart and mind and soul will belong to them and there is no exit door.
If these facts do not interest you in getting a cat, you are probably not cut out for them. Once you decide to own one, you will discover that these facts are not silly at all, and you will be able to tolerate and love them.
Prepare yourself for a new life as a second-class citizen – the top tier, of course, occupied by your new cats. Because really, who can resist these fury little things? I say, MEOW one!